“Follow your dreams” and other empty statements

You are not guaranteed success and your role models are not going to tell you that. I’m not qualified to tell you how successful you’re going to be.

I’m not a psychic, I don’t have a crystal ball, and I do not have a DeLorean car to visit the future to check. I have as much information as you do when it comes to the future.

I don’t know what’s going to happen.

I’m also not a pessimist. I do believe that dreams do come true and that if you work hard, you will eventually find some success… It might not be the success you envisioned but it’s still something.

I’m impatient, and passionate. I know that to get to where I want to be, I’m going to need to work hard — like really hard. I am going to have sweat, bleed and cry for my vocation.

But it’s really all about luck.

This is not me being a pessimist. This is me being a realist.

At 24, I have suffered so many rejections [it’s hard to keep track at this point] both big and small.

I applied to art school twice and got rejected both times. I tried to pursue a career in psychology then due to money and work commitments I couldn’t do it. I’ve applied for jobs as a copywriting intern and was rejected. I’ve applied to graduate sales positions and was rejected.

I worked at one the best places of my life, just for the winter season and wasn’t kept on — again I was rejected.

The road to any dream isn’t pathed with sunshine and rainbows. It is paved with anxiety, and doubt. Yet despite all the odds, some people [the chosen ones] make it ahead relatively unscathed.

However, success is a journey not a destination.

Whilst I have struggled to keep myself going in what seems to be a terrible job market for graduates of any vocation that isn’t medicine, dentistry or accounting, I have done some cool things along the way.

I have achieved something but all it takes is some perspective to see that.

When you’re amongst the dirt, it’s hard to see the flowers.

When we’re trying to “follow our dreams” and “rise to grind”, we forget that everyday we successfully do something. Everyday we achieve something no matter how small. We have achieved something…

“You really seem to be doing lots of good things,” A friend says to me.

Inside I am panicking because I have no consistent income and bills to pay. My life for the last month has felt like a rollercoaster that won’t end.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I reply.

Is success just luck?

When I stop and reflect on things that other people admire me for (because I know it’s surprising, but other people probably do admire something about you), I see a common trend: I tried. I completed an action which eventually got me to some sort of goal.

From the outside, you are probably doing a better job than you think. It just feels overwhelming because we’ve told our whole lives that this should be effortless and we should just fall into success through natural talent.

Just follow your dreams and everything else will fall into place.

‘Follow your dreams’ is an empty phrase, especially when it comes from the mouth of someone who has enough money to pay for a private jet and even their dogs have manicures.

The statement does come from some source of good will but it is never accurate. It’s a generalised wishful statement marketed to millions.

It’s a vague direction when you could really use a map. When you start to break down what your dream actually looks like, you start to be able to sort out what is a fantasy and what is reality.

What is achievable in the time you have? Why do you really want that? Do you want fame or do you want to do what you love?

Any adult job I have landed has been the result of chance and hard work. Any role where I was finally given responsibility that matched my skillset, came from nowhere and at my time of need. Any publication that has paid me money has been a surprise.

Yeah, I tried and put myself out there but it wasn’t solely down to me trying otherwise I would be an extremely good writer by now and maybe even have a book deal…

I want to say every success was down to my hard work.

I want to tell you to follow your dreams. I want to say that you’ll be successful.

But I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t even know if I’ll make it.

What I do know is that whatever you’re supposed to be doing will come to you and you might have to fight for it. You might have to fight hard and it might not blossom into extreme success.

What level of success will you be happy with?

What is the lowest level of success you need to get by?

You might not become Lady Gaga, or the Rock, or any other high profile person in your field but that’s okay because what matters is your passion for what you do.

Everything else is just stuff.